Take Me Back

♪ Take me back, take me back dear Lord
To the place where I first received You.
Take me back, take me back dear Lord where I

first believed.

I feel that I'm so far from You Lord
But still I hear You calling me
Those simple things that I once knew,
Their memories are drawing me.

I must confess, Lord I've been blessed
But yet my soul's not satisfied.
Renew my faith, restore my joy
And dry my weeping eyes.♪

Sometimes you get lost on the road to life, to living.  You take a detour and end up someplace you have never been before.  Lots of things going on where you are.  People you are unfamiliar with, people that you have known or thought you did, who said that they will be there, always, only to leave you stranded as if you had a flat tire.    While others cling on to you as if you hold the keys to life itself.

The buildings are huge that surround you appearing as if they are mountains.  Streets become smaller, so much so that you feel like a pea in a pod as you try to navigate your way through them.  What once was familiar, has all of a sudden become strange territory.

And you are lost. 

Not knowing where to go, where to turn, but simply desiring to be there. 

Back to a place where roads were paved and if you hit a bump, at least you knew how to ride it. 

Back to a place where you recognize people for who they were and you kept them there as such. 

Back to a place where you could canvass the neighborhood with your eyes closed, as the laughter of children guided your every step. 

Back to a place where you may not have been comfortable with not knowing, but was certain you would know soon. 

Back to a mostly dry land and if it rained, you were yet able to keep your footing. 

You yearn to go back to a place of familiarity. A normal place.  A place of security, of knowing, of innocence.  Of believing.

Desperate to go back there, to where you were, you cry out for help.  A phone call, a text to a friend, a family member, and yet no one can seem to get you back there (or desires to).  Because back there, what you know, that road you were on, takes on a different form, and it doesn’t quite look the same.   To you or to them.

So you continue to cry out and yearn for that place, long to go back… not as you know it of course, but back to where you might have left Him, …left him… when you took the detour or the detour took you.  Presenting itself as a “you have no choice in the matter” exit.

Take me back, dear Lord, to the place where I first received You.

Take me back, to the place where I FIRST… believed.

I believe Lord.

Help me, my unbelief.

Help me to believe again.

Show me… show us, how to make our way back, wherever back may be in this journey You called life.

Sis. E

“But He knows the way I take and after I have been tried, I shall come forth as pure gold.” (Job 23:10)

Copyright 2015
www.butgodisreal.com

Dreaming...

I had another dream about you last night

I actually had two.

Just like the others, this one seemed so real.

I touched you.

I was actually able to lay my hand on your skin

And feel your smile.

I saw it too.

It was so big and so pure.

Your smile really did light up the room you know.

And this one,

This one was glowing,

So much so that it illuminated the dark areas of my heart,

Of my life…

Even if it was only just a dream.

When you opened that door

I watched you as you walked in

Such a confidence in your walk,

It wasn’t how it used to be.

No, you were standing up straight.

Proud of who you were

Proud of who you had become

There was a quiet confidence in your stride

As you made your way towards me

I said, Wow.  Look at my Joe.

Then you spoke.

There was a boldness in your tongue

That I only heard when you were performing

Yeah, I thought, this is a different Joe.

This time you COMMANDED attention

Which I was so ready to give you.

Even if it was just a dream

Your face was so clean.

It did not have the marks or the blemishes

That you so often worried about.

A bit too much, I told you.

“How could I get rid of this mom?”

You would ask.

A question many a young person had asked of their own moms,

I’m sure.

It’s gone now, Joe.

Except for the one scar that reminded me of how 
and when you left

Then you touched me back.

You extended your hand towards me

As if you were trying to reach my heart,

But you were already there.

And for a moment everything felt alright.

Because you were alive.

But it was just a dream.

#ripmyJoe

To learn about my Joe, visit
www.ripjoe.org or
www.josephmfannellmemorialfund.org

Copyright 2015
www,intheshadowofgrief.com