Dreaming...

I had another dream about you last night

I actually had two.

Just like the others, this one seemed so real.

I touched you.

I was actually able to lay my hand on your skin

And feel your smile.

I saw it too.

It was so big and so pure.

Your smile really did light up the room you know.

And this one,

This one was glowing,

So much so that it illuminated the dark areas of my heart,

Of my life…

Even if it was only just a dream.

When you opened that door

I watched you as you walked in

Such a confidence in your walk,

It wasn’t how it used to be.

No, you were standing up straight.

Proud of who you were

Proud of who you had become

There was a quiet confidence in your stride

As you made your way towards me

I said, Wow.  Look at my Joe.

Then you spoke.

There was a boldness in your tongue

That I only heard when you were performing

Yeah, I thought, this is a different Joe.

This time you COMMANDED attention

Which I was so ready to give you.

Even if it was just a dream

Your face was so clean.

It did not have the marks or the blemishes

That you so often worried about.

A bit too much, I told you.

“How could I get rid of this mom?”

You would ask.

A question many a young person had asked of their own moms,

I’m sure.

It’s gone now, Joe.

Except for the one scar that reminded me of how 
and when you left

Then you touched me back.

You extended your hand towards me

As if you were trying to reach my heart,

But you were already there.

And for a moment everything felt alright.

Because you were alive.

But it was just a dream.

#ripmyJoe

To learn about my Joe, visit
www.ripjoe.org or
www.josephmfannellmemorialfund.org

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www,intheshadowofgrief.com