Alone...
Somehow I
keep finding myself there
Somehow I
keep finding myself here
Left to
listen to the sound of the drips
as the drops
make their way down my cheek
I know I’ve
cried before
Just never
like this...
Didn’t ever
think I would be able to actually hear the sound of a teardrop…
That is
until you were gone.
And I was,
(we are) left to continue without you
How can I
remember to breathe
knowing that
a life I breathed into this world
I could
never hear breathe again?
Funny thing
about grief
and losing a
life (that you gave)
you never
really know how it feels
until it
comes upon you
Must be what
God felt that day when He gave up His Son.
Didn’t
really want to know… It was just a thought, I said.
Wasn’t meant
to be answered
Wasn’t given
an option
Take it or
leave it wasn’t presented before me
I would have
definitely left it
But things
happen
…The grass
withers, the flowers fade…
…For
what is life? It is just a vapor that appears for a little
time and then quickly vanishes away.
It’s weird
being in this place.
It’s not a
feel good place.
Walking in
this valley of the shadow of death.
Alone, but
not so much.
You’re
there... but not there.
You’re here.
But not REALLY.
“I AM,” I
hear. Just in a different space.
“But not MY
space.” I answer.
So I take a
deep breath and I breathe again with the life I have…
The life I
have yet to give, remembering
“Oh, Lord
teach us to number our days…”
And I
tenderly pick up the pieces of my brokenness
...alone,
but alive.
You are
STILL ALIVE. You’re still alive!
You said so
poetically.
I go on with
this never-ending look of sadness in my eyes,
Wiping away
involuntary tears that don’t seem to know how to stop running…
on the
inside.
And I no
longer ask God the question, why
But don’t
hesitate to ask Him, when
…until I see
you again.
As I sit
alone, (but not lonely),
in this
place called grief.
For
my Joe.
From
Mom.
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rights reserved.
http://www.intheshadowofgrief.com
http://www.intheshadowofgrief.com
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