Wednesday, January 30, 2013

"Can't Buy Me Love"

A little while back as an expression of my love, I had the desire to send someone a sort of expensive gift.  Thinking it would be a nice thing to do, seeing that it was something that I absolutely knew they would love to have.  In the back of my mind, I also thought it would be a "good" way to show them just “how much” I love them because I just knew for a certainty that if they saw this gift, they would have to know just how much I really loved them.   After going back and forth, I finally decided against doing so.  Then another opportunity presented itself where I could buy something else, for two people, reasonably priced, but yet of a little expense.  Though I would be catching a deal on it, the persons would still know how much it usually costs, and would appreciate it. I figured I would be getting a bargain because I could please two people at the same time and win their love and affection.  Well, again, after going back and forth, (not as much as the first time however), I decided against doing so.

And then it happened again.  The thought came to me just a few short weeks later.  “Let me do ‘so and so.  Let me get ‘such and such.”’ Talked my way out of it again, (so I thought), but yet settled on getting a card and gift card.  I purchased the items and tucked them away until I felt the appropriate time to send it off. 

The day came where I thought it would be good to mail it and just as I reached for the items, God said to me, “It won’t work.”  And as I tried to understand and to hear what I was hearing, He spoke again and said, “Your money can’t buy their love.”  And I laughed to myself, almost as in tears, as my spirit finally came to a truth… that no matter what I buy, no matter what I try to do, no matter how I try to fix things it won’t work.  They still will not love me.  Then I had a sense of peace flood my soul, like I have not experienced before with this.  It was the peace that the Word so clearly speaks of, that goes beyond our understanding.  I did not cry.  I did not ask why.  I just knew and finally came to terms with what the Lord had been telling me for years.

People come into our lives.  We love on them, we appreciate them, we do our best to show we care.  We share, we give of ourselves.  Then things happen and a word is said, a thought is twisted, a conversation is misunderstood and those very same people for one reason or another leave our lives.   They stop speaking to us.  They stop coming near us.  They talk about us. 

And in our desire to make things right again, especially with those that we love the dearest, those that are closest to us, those that we have grown to love, those that we have laughed with, and played with, and gone through some things with and watched grow through the years… in our desire to love and be loved, we go out of our way, above and beyond sometimes, to get them to love us.  To make them love us.  We try to buy their love.  To buy their affection.  Their attention.  Win their hearts. 

We try in little ways, a phone call when we hear of something good that happened to them, an email, a text, purposely sent randomly to everyone should they ask.  Sometimes, we agree with them on things, even when they don’t make sense to us.   We try in subtle ways, we laugh out loud to their quirks and their mishaps they post about and tweet about.  We LIKE their instagram photos no matter how they look.  In an effort to show them that we love them, we go all out.  In all these ways and more, buying their love. 

And then when they don’t respond in the way that is befitting what we have shown them, we hurt.  We cry.  We get angry and then wonder why we do it, why bother, and end up doing it all over again.  Only to wind up in the same place with the same revelation, “money” can’t buy their love.

But God spoke this that in our quest to make people love us back, in our quest to buy their love, we have to understand that we are wasting our time.  If they are set on holding grudges, on not forgiving you.  If they are set on being bitter and being angry for something you might or might not have said.  If they have this “aught” in their hearts against you, refusing to acknowledge your existence, or your presence, or your attention, no amount of money, no amount of gifts, no amount of attention will make them love you.  God said, they will just accept the gift and disregard where it came from… you, the giver.  They won’t see anything else other than they just got a gift.  Not how nice it was, not how much it might have cost you, not the sacrifice you made to send it and certainly not the love or the thought you put behind it.

We have to understand that there is nothing that we can do on this earth to change an unforgiving heart.  It is up to them to release.  It is up to them to forgive, to move on, to let go, to want to be loved BY YOU.  It is up to them to receive, which they cannot do if their heart is stopped up with bitterness, resentment, hostility and anger. Unforgiveness.

This was a hard lesson for me to learn and could have been a costly one I suppose.  I tried it before in the past, to send a gift or two, and in fact I did, and that whole year I questioned why I never even received an acknowledgment of the gift.  And it is only now as the Lord has since revealed to me, because my money can’t buy their love.  And as long as the unforgiveness remains in their heart, it never will.

Continue to love however the Lord leads, because God is real.
And He loves you.

A servant of the Lord,
Sis. E    

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